Oh dear. It's only been three days into the challenge and already I've left out one day. I'm actually drafting this on the bus in a desperate attempt to get back up to speed.
Fear of heights: As I previously mentioned, I have a fear of heights. In fact the PE unit I am most uncomfortable with is rock climbing. But I don't mind roller coasters. This is probably really hard for you to imagine. A girl who hates heights and standing on high balconies but loves going on the Battlestar Galactica ride at Universal? Yeah. What's wrong with me?
Well I don't exactly know what happened to me when I turned seven, but up until that birthday I actually loved going on the climbing frame in the park. I think that my partial fear of responsibility has something to do with this. The problem that I face most is that I'm worried I might mess up, that I might fall, that I will be responsible for my untimely demise. But with roller coasters, all I have to do is buckle up and have fun. The adrenaline rush doesn't hurt either.
Fear of not "fitting in": In my second post I mentioned not fitting in and being socially awkward. I can only guess how this happened to me, since while I was in infant school I was actually quite "popular" with my classmates, so to say. It's actually quite ironic how I feel like I don't "fit in" since in England I stood out a lot because of my looks, whereas here in Singapore we have so many people from lots of different places.
But if you made me take a wild guess at why I feel I don't "fit in", I would say it's because of how big our grade is, and maybe because we are shuffled around so much each year. I understand that being shuffled around and having our classmates switched each year is so we can have a wider friendship circle, but to me it doesn't make sense because it means I have to start from rock bottom all over again and make new friends. Which is hard work, considering how clumsy and shy I am.
Fear of death: If you ask me, being scared of death is a very good fear to have. There's even a name for a phobia of death: thanatophobia. Death is scary! Why do people have to die? Where do they go afterwards? Are they re-incarnated? Do they go to heaven or hell? Do they come back to earth to haunt us?
I don't have a full-on phobia, but death is a pretty heavy, daunting topic. My dad says I'm just like him since he was scared of death when he was a child too. I think the main thing that worries me is being alone if all my family died. I have a lot of fears, and another one of them is my fear of being alone. I'm not extremely extroverted (oh look, some assonance) but I like to have a little background noise while I'm doing whatever it is I'm doing. Being alone makes me paranoid and nervous about what might happen to me. I guess you could also say that I'm scared of what happens to humans after death. If death takes me somewhere amazing like the garden of eden, then great! But what if it's a scary, twisted version of planet earth? I wish that we could chronicle what happens after death. Then all my questions would be answered.
Day 3: Describe your relationship with your parents
To sum my parents up in five words, I would say: caring, amazing, empathetic, responsible, calm and logical. Oops, that's six words but I've already started and I'm too lazy to go back and change it. I would say that my relationship with my parents is one of my closest relationships to anyone and I feel like I could tell them anything. I trust them with my life and they are always there to help me, whether I need to study for a maths test or just need somebody to confide in. I wouldn't say my parents are my best friends, but they're certainly not just two old people who happen to be my relatives.
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